You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
