eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am never drinking with the goths again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
