Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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