Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
kristin has been a bad kristin
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
