OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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