Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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