Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
