We won't sleep together?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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