He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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