I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize