Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize