Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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