lets start a swedish sibling band together
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
