Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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