Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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