Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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