Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize