I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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