This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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