Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
