when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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