We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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