i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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