Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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