I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
