"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
