that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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