i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
