I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
