I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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