he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
