do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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