I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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