is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
is it fun? or sober?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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