his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
