He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
