I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
