How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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