would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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