I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
