I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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