He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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