She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
