He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
