There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
