i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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