Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
