I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
