well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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