I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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