I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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