I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
