I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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