I showed him my bush... on skype.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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