I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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