..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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