chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
