butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
