I hate your face
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
