woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
