The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
